Studying

Disclaimer: The views and topicality of the following paragraphs are derived from real

conversations with my fellow classmates and are not the sole work of myself. They contain

distasteful jokes and quite possibly a tad bit too much information.

First, it has been unanimously decided that naming children after the books of the Bible, while hilarious, would ultimately not turn out too well. Naming your kid Yahweh could potentially be even worse. Oldies name, such as Ruth, Roger and Ethel, as well as just plain sucky ones, such as Belinda, can be thrown out, too. Pretty much every other name you can think of besides those of friends and relatives should be good to go. Heck, even random nouns should work if applied properly.

Next, me and That Guy have arrived at the conclusion that the two most recent earthquakes were merely the aftershocks of our earth-shattering socratic seminar about The Road Not Taken we had earlier this year. I would like to take this time to apologize for these tragic, unforeseen consequences of our literature-analyzing awesomeness.

Sex on the beach is a definite no go. Even a well placed towel probably isn't going to stop sand and salt water getting crammed up there. Though if you like genital infections, feel free to go right ahead and do it. There is also the very real possibility of getting actually crabs. Yes, I mean those giant king-size Alaskan ones. Though I guess you could be slightly more fortunate and merely have a small hermit crab make your privates its new home. Sex on a hammock is probably unwise, as well, for there is both the entrapping cross-stitched patterns to watch out for and also the disorienting rocking motion for which they are known. Me and my fellow crazy firmly believe that, given the proper training from some nekkid natives, we could sufficiently master the art of hammock love making. As of this time, however, skeptics still remain undecided on the matter.