Unfortunately, the desire to write is pretty much never in compliance with the capacity to write. Thoughts have never ceased flowing; words, on the other hand, have never started. Images, feelings, emotions, ideas all fill my mind, yet I’m severely lacking in the ability to make sense of them. Failing to sleep, I laid awake this morning for an hour, overwhelmed by an incredible urge to write; to comprehend what was going on in my mind. But I keep failing. I finally grasp something I’ve been struggling with for but a second, and then it’s gone. The big questions about who I am, what I want, what I need, what I believe must be answered – and they would be – but the answers are lost somewhere within myself, all too scared of being found. Alas, for the entirety of this thinking, all I’ve got to show for it is this fear of an eternally blank page.
i know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteit helps to write letters to yourself, no lie.
when you're your only audience, thoughts suddenly become clearer.
Great post, Hansy. I've missed insightful blogs such as these... :)
ReplyDeleteI was about to say, "write more! write more!"
ReplyDeleteand then I remembered that this post was about the your difficulty writing, and I decided my intended comment went right past ironic and would only sound clueless and sad. But I did enjoy it :)