Just Some Observations

Seek and Destroy by Metallica appearing on my shuffle before every exam must mean something

Earbuds and iPods make me feel like my life has a soundtrack

Disco music succeeds in making me dance

Death Proof was a better movie than Transformers 2

Roger Ebert is not a complete dick and is now a person to me on top of being a great writer

Movies are even more awesome than I previously thought

I can visualize every scene from The Matrix with just the audio

Classic movies are short, force romance, and expect you to bypass proper characterization

Characters, not the plot, make you cry

Apparently the telling me you haven’t seen Gladiator will make my eyes water

I like being in the presence of people, even if I’m sitting by myself

No one notices you near as much as you think (for better or for worse)

Being noticed is usually pretty nice, if rare

I notice most people, but rarely remember more than a few

Everyone wants to be noticed

Bad accents can crush attraction

A cute smile on a pretty face will never fail to win my attention

Musical capabilities are pretty darn sexy

Hot, cute, and just plain gorgeous are all very different

Joy is a mindset

I can finally catch myself falling into old habits (wc?) and get a good laugh out of it

I’m scared that I don’t have what it takes to make a relationship work

I have no idea what I want in a girl

There’s no reason to be afraid of words

Love is just another word

Motive, purpose, point, and reason mean everything

Trying to straddle the line between faith and reason is maddening

Oh the Hypocrisy

~This post has been removed because I don't like it yet~

Sorry for the inconvenience,
~OA

Reminiscing

1. So this is what started it all. I honestly don't really remember specifically what I was thinking about. It probably had something to do with me just liking the idea of a stick figure with a brain representing me, because I could say that in some ways it's more me than just some horrible picture of me doing something stupid. I'm also smarter than you, hence the brain. Maybe this is also where I also started getting complaints from people about my profile picture, so obviously I had to keep doing it.


2. This one's pretty self explanatory, so I'm kinda sad that it's so tall. It's one panel from one of the saddest fake cartoons ever ever penned. I put it up in representation of pretty much all of our collective IB feelings at the start of our second year. We had quite a large chunk of work cut out for us and I doubt there was a single one of us that wasn't completely overwhelmed. So, to sum it up, this picture simply meant that school sucked and I hated it.



3.Again I chose to go with the obvious yet subtle method. Obviously you can see the there's a guy and girl, but notice they're facing away from each other? It's almost like they're completely refusing to acknowledge each others' existence. Oh wait, that's exactly what I was trying to get across. So this was the point in the middle of the beginning of last year when I remembered how frickin' badly I liked her, yet how far apart I felt we were. So imagine that the guy on the left is me instead of Lightle and that she's on the right and that we're sitting at desks instead of on a train and presto, you had a stick figure representation of my life at that particular point. As you can imagine, it was not the best. But then...



4. ...I received the only decent piece of advice regard such matters that I have ever received: just to talk to her. Sounds crazy, don't it? Well it appeared to have work, anyhow. We actually were starting to talk once again and, in a way, our friendship was being rekindled. Notice how it's almost the same pic, but the heads are turned towards each other. It's almost like the stick figures are talking, innit? However, as you can see, Mr. Baldy is leaning closer to the girl, seemingly a lot more eager to be talking to her than she is to be talking to him, as she's still partially involved with the laptop. Obviously this represents how I felt that our growing relationship still meant a lot more to mean than it did to her. Can't believe you couldn't understand this from the start...


5. Slightly less subtle than my other pics, this one merely represented the approaching prom. I asked her to it with a bunch of red balloons. See the red balloon over there to the left? Yeah, pretend that was one of them. I seriously hope you got at least this one at the time of its posting....



6. This one is essentially the same as that other one that looks remarkably similar yet not as good so I'm just going to pretend that they're one and the same. I actually don't know who, if anyone at all, would be able to understand this. I posted a short time after we returned from our trip to Costa Rica, which I guess really doesn't say much except that perhaps it has something to do with Costa Rica. Which it does. I probably could go on telling the entire story of the one particular night that it pertains to (which she, for some reason, never does and I actually started doing here before disliking its length), but that wouldn't really say as much as you'd think. To sum it all up, it was just her and me probably a tad bit farther from anyone or any light than probably would have been ideal had someone found us and all way the out there because I mistakenly thought you could still see the stars. Well, it was also her suggesting we move a little farther away than I had intended, but alas I digress. Those moments were pretty much it; the closest I ever had been or ever will be to her. Looking back now that I'm writing about it, I'm actually not totally sure why. I mean it was pretty frickin' cold, so maybe we were a little more cuddly than normal, but that can't be all of it... She said love. Not about me towards her, but about her towards some other guy a while ago. That was a little unexpected I must say. That probably scared me a little, certainly stung quite a bit, but I can't really be certain. She almost mentioned she was jealous about homecoming and all (but not in a bad sort of way, mind you). Maybe that one didn't really surprise me. I don't remember what else was said. Undoubtedly some reassurance from her about how much I mean/meant to her, etc.

So maybe nothing really became of this secluded rendez-vous. She made sure to pay more attention to me for the rest of the trip, of course, but that's to be expected. She always does that when she thinks something's wrong with me. Everything more I could write right now would just be stalling because I don't know how to transition this, so I'll just cut to the chase. After all this writing I still don't know why that night was so important to me. I was going to say something along the lines of me not falling in love with her but the idea of love itself, but while that's actually partially true, I can't imagine anyone else I would rather have shared these memories with...

Then and Now

If I can barely stand to say goodbye for the night, how am I supposed to say goodbye forever?

Distance

I'm too tired to think of something witty to put as filler here, so I think I'll just save that for some other time. Here's a table of how far away (by car) I will be from everyone if I go to Rhodes College. As you'll probably notice, I am nowhere near anyone! I'm still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, at least regarding most people. Well anyways, voila:

Person	Their College	Distance (miles)	Time by Car (hours)
Erin	Mississippi	218	3.5
Deirdre	St. Louis	288	4.75
Claire	LSU	384	6
Katie	Tulsa	403	6.5
Chandler	UD	466	7.5
People	UTD	461	7.5
Sarah	TCU	491	8
Bibb	Abilene	635	10.5
Gabe	UT Austin	649	10.5
Isaac	St. Edward’s	653	10.75
Beth	Elon	681	11
Richa	Duke	714	11.5
Alex	GW	869	14
Lana	GW	869	14
Isabel	Catholic University of American	875	14
Eric	Cal Poly	1933	31

Balloons

1 hour planning. 45 seconds blocking the stairs while covertly getting spare key from Becca. 1 day realizing that those plans won't work. 30 minutes planning a second idea. 2 hours shopping at Walmart. 4 hours going to an awesome concert. 25 minutes eating at Whataburger. 3 seconds for Dale deciding to help. 20 minutes scoping out the territory while driving to Julie's. 5 minutes standing outside and tapping on Julie's window like creepers. 1 hour blowing up 45 balloons. 10 minutes loading said balloons into cars. 5 seconds realizing we have no where near enough balloons. 20 minutes driving to Walmart. 5 minutes finding balloons. 3 minutes buying 60 of them. 20 minutes driving back to Julie's house while blowing up said balloons. 3 minutes gathering supplies at Julie's. 5 minutes driving to Beth's. 2 seconds opening car doors. 1 second watching in horror as several balloons escape. 2 minutes collecting loose balloons. 15 seconds walking to the gray Hyundai Sonata. 4 seconds getting out spare key. .5 seconds turning key left. 2 seconds failing to open door. .5 seconds turning key right. Same .5 seconds setting off car alarm. 2 seconds soiling our pants while making panicky eye contact. 7 seconds bolting to back to own cars. .1 seconds deciding not to jump in through open window. 5 seconds opening door and sitting. 4 seconds trying to start car with the spare key. 3 seconds panicking. 2 seconds looking out window and checking top of the car. 3 seconds almost knocking keys off of car. 2 seconds attempting to start car without brake down. 5 seconds revving engine while not realizing that the accelerator is down and not the brake pedal. 1 second putting car into gear. 20 seconds getting the **** out of there. 10 minutes driving back to my house. 5 minutes calming down and explaining the situation to my mom. .1 second realizing we'd left tissue paper on her car. 1 second of analyzing for Dale to drop the obligatory f-bomb. 10 minutes driving back to Julies to change cars. 5 minutes driving by Beth's testing the remote key. 1 second sigh of relief at it working. 1 minute finding an out of the way parking spot. 5 minutes sneaking through alleys and side yards up to the car. 10 seconds crawling up to tissue paper. 2 seconds sprinting back through said alleys and side yards to Julie's car. 5 minutes driving back to Julie's. 10 minutes driving back home to retire for the night.

Who knew asking someone to Prom could be so intense?

Studying

Disclaimer: The views and topicality of the following paragraphs are derived from real

conversations with my fellow classmates and are not the sole work of myself. They contain

distasteful jokes and quite possibly a tad bit too much information.

First, it has been unanimously decided that naming children after the books of the Bible, while hilarious, would ultimately not turn out too well. Naming your kid Yahweh could potentially be even worse. Oldies name, such as Ruth, Roger and Ethel, as well as just plain sucky ones, such as Belinda, can be thrown out, too. Pretty much every other name you can think of besides those of friends and relatives should be good to go. Heck, even random nouns should work if applied properly.

Next, me and That Guy have arrived at the conclusion that the two most recent earthquakes were merely the aftershocks of our earth-shattering socratic seminar about The Road Not Taken we had earlier this year. I would like to take this time to apologize for these tragic, unforeseen consequences of our literature-analyzing awesomeness.

Sex on the beach is a definite no go. Even a well placed towel probably isn't going to stop sand and salt water getting crammed up there. Though if you like genital infections, feel free to go right ahead and do it. There is also the very real possibility of getting actually crabs. Yes, I mean those giant king-size Alaskan ones. Though I guess you could be slightly more fortunate and merely have a small hermit crab make your privates its new home. Sex on a hammock is probably unwise, as well, for there is both the entrapping cross-stitched patterns to watch out for and also the disorienting rocking motion for which they are known. Me and my fellow crazy firmly believe that, given the proper training from some nekkid natives, we could sufficiently master the art of hammock love making. As of this time, however, skeptics still remain undecided on the matter.

An Understanding

Ya know, it's kinda funny sitting on a couch next to the one who looks just as great with swollen cheeks, her head and a pillow rested on your shoulder, watching sappy chick-flicks on Valentines Day, knowing that yours isn't going to have quite as happy an ending as the ones you're viewing, yet not minding at all.

Hope y'all enjoyed your single awareness day :)

Darts

I love my friends. I think we're the only group of people that actively strive to be incredibly awkward with each other. It would seem that our goal is essentially to make everyone else as uncomfortable as possible. We're pretty darn good at it, too. Why just in advisory today we shared a plethora of shoulder leaning, bottle throwing, glasses stealing, neck darting, lace tying, bestiality joking, calf groping, lesbian thinking, transsexual considering, and up-skirt peeking goodness. Yes, we are fully aware that we are an incredibly strange group of people, and we just wouldn't have it any other way!

Welcome to the Ball Pit

Now that my stupid math internal assessment is finally finished and turned in, I actually have time post something on my blog that's been completely bare for at least a day now. I'm tired and sick, and our FCS meeting today has kind of put me off ranting about how much I hate the stupidity of the human race, so I guess I'll just give a sort of rundown on this wonderful blog that you are currently reading.

I'm sure you're at least a tad bit intrigued by the title of this blog (which, by the way, is not a euphemism for something perverted), and I bet half of you losers (probably actually all of you since only Hayleigh, Chandler and possibly Sarah are likely to be reading this post) were expecting something a little more sinister sounding. But if you though that, you would be wrong! Losers... Believe it or not, I actually put a little bit of thought into what I am now calling this stream of consciousness. Despite its obvious childish appearance, the meaning behind it is actually quite far from that.

I expect the pretty picture above distracted all of you away from my incredibly insightful words, so i'm just going to assume you read through the comic. I also assume that you reasonably intelligent folks reading this blog understand what it's talking about and may even be beginning to connect some of the dots yourself. For those less educated people out there, this poem is about growing up. It's not really an age thing as much as it is a maturity thing. Though I guess for must of us teenagers it's a bit of both. That pretty much sums up what I think I might possibly want this blog to maybe be about. I want to take a stab at the self-discovery aspect of growing up. That sounds pretty cliché, now that I think about it, but hopefully it won't turn out that way.

Everyone is constantly in a personal struggles with themselves, despairing over with who they were, failing to discover who they are, or desperately trying to determine who they want to be. We waste so much time and energy trying to find the perfect answers to these seemingly simple problems, that we often get that really the only way we can do that is to just get on with our lives. We certainly can't change the past (and would we really want to even if we could?), who we are is who we are and there's nothing we can do about it, so really the only thing we should be concerning ourselves with is who we want to (not to be confused with what we want to be, as it often is). I think the most important thing about each and every one of us is who we aspire to be , and I think that reveals a lot more about a person than anything else. Everyone's made mistakes, everyone is making them, and everyone is going to continue making them forever. As it is, we're certainly only human. All that can be expected of someone is that they do their best. Life, after all, isn't a race, it's more like a series of time trials. We keep finding ourselves back at square one, hoping to do a little better the next time around. The only person we're competing with is ourselves, our own expectations, and our own goals. Deep down everyone knows what they truly want, and as long as they respect themselves for it, then they should be just alright.

Wow... that actually has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about (love, god, friends, grass, you know, the big stuff). I guess all that stuff will just have to wait until next time.

~OA out...